I Am The Hag

I am the Hag,

I am the Crone;

While others fly onwards,

I trudge on alone.

It can sometimes feel that your function - the reason you are here - also requires a level of solitude and isolation and that can be very difficult to live with. It is the great irony of spiritual work - you are brought to it by a feeling of immense connection with the energy around you, a feeling of being connected to everything in the universe - and this is followed by feeling alone and disconnected.

I work with many spiritual workers and there is usually a pattern to their development (certainly the ones who I end up working with, anyway). they begin by discussing that connection, and talking about the wonder and awe that they have been given a glimpse of. But, a bit like a child in a candy store, there is a growing sense that they are not in control of their response to it, and they begin to think, feel and act erratically. This usually ends up with a fairly significant crash, where the lack of discipline and management of the energy that they plugged into has finally been taken away while they learn how to better control it.

While this might sound like a punishment, it is far, far from it. The assumption must be that you were shown the massiveness of everything for a reason and that reason requires you to ‘level up’ - this will almost always involve a period of solitude.

And solitude sucks, quite frankly. To feel unconnected once you know the world that exists just out of your grasp - it’s devastating. Often, these people will attend more sessions, take more classes, visit more spiritual teachers, go on retreats - all in the quest to rediscover the connection. But that connection does not exist on the outside of you - it is from within. And for that, you HAVE to go inwards, at least for a while.

January

January is a funny time of the year - on the one hand, start of a bright new year, you may feel energised and pumped up to see what you can achieve, a sea of endless opportunities to 'get it right' this time.....
Or you could be dragging yourself through the month, low because the festivities and excitement is all over for this year, and that you look at your life and it just looks so far away from what you want that instead of seeing potential you just see pointlessness.
Whichever one you are, it is important to first, be aware, and second be conscious of what you do about it. Yes being enthusiastic and energised sounds fantastic - but have you planned for the long term? Is the focus on your well being, or your focus on your future success - have you planned for it to outlast the month? And if you are low, have you thought about the underlying reasons for that - have you consciously admitted to yourself the things you don't like about your life? Because you need to have done that to be ready for that moment when you think "Enough is Enough!" and you go after a change in your life, and you will need to be very clear about the actions you take to start shifting the needle.

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Lesson or Trauma?

When you experience something that affects and influences how you see yourself, or how you see other people, it can be easy to think that the response you have is the only one to have. For example, you may have a partner leave you, or get fired from work, or get diagnosed with a critical illness - all of these things make such a huge impact on your life, and change it so dramatically, that it can feel that there is only one way to see it - as a harmful, painful experience that is purely negative. Because of this, you can feel picked on, targeted for hurt or abandoned by your God or those around you.

When something that significant happens, you begin to grieve the life that you thought you had, and it is easy to think that this is a void that needs to be filled. Yet, in so many cases, on the other side of the pain and darkness, you hear people tell you of the profound lessons they learned by having that experience and how they learned to be grateful for what it taught them about themselves. This isn’t about wishing it happened to you, or wishing that it happened to others, but it is the recognition that by it happening to you, you have learned something about yourself that you didn’t before that has shown you an aspect to your character and personality that was hidden from view. When such things happen, you find a resilience and a capacity to carry on, even when you don’t feel it is possible, and you become aware of strength you never knew you had.

Or … you can get stuck in the pain and the hurt and take up residence there, staying there for way too long and therefore becoming even less sure that you have the strength to get out of it. This is because alongwith the pain we start getting energy from others in the form of sympathy. You will hear me talk about sympathy elsehwere and the type of energy it gives you but the short version is - it’s not good. While we think that feeling sorry for others is supportive, it actually works by telling them (or you) that you are weak and incapable of getting through something. But because it is easy to obtain it is tempting to just keep getting it - but the other side of this means that you also have to stay in the pain and hurt to receive it.

Take a child who falls over. They may cry straight away, but the cry may go up a notch if they see someone looking at them - and go back down if that person actually turns away and doesn’t offer sympathy. And that is what can happen to all of us - we feel the pain, but it is the response from others that may determine whether we pick ourselves up or we cry a bit louder or a bit longer. It is human nature to do this, but we won’t learn anything valuable from staying in that state for too long - and those around us who keep us there by continuing to offer sympathy are not really helping.

You need to feel the pain and hurt and absolutely need to cry and scream and shout and get angry at why these things have happened. But you also have to recognise the point where that energy has become destructive rather than the purge of emotions that it is meant to be. At that point, you start asking yourself what this moment is going to teach you, about the world and about yourself. Start to look for the clues hidden in the pain, of your strength and resilience. Look for the potential growth and evolution that comes from getting through something momentous. It is there, I promise.

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Christmas

Are you getting the message to slow down?
At this time of year we are busier than ever, creating that 'perfect' Christmas and rushing from event to event. But this is also the time of year that nature slows down and beds in for a winter, animals start to hibernate and you may find yourself feel that it is more difficult to feel energised, preferring instead quiet nights, cosy fires and spontaneous napping on the sofa. These two extremes can leave us feeling more pressure than ever, do we rush around doing everything, or do we go slow? For me, what is the point of being busy if you are in such a rush, you can't appreciate any of the things you are frantically doing? I like the fact that at this time of year I get to review the year, see all of the progress and growth I have had this year, and start to think about what we want to manifest next year. I like that my body is trying to sync with nature, and take it easy, preparing for the spring when my energy will go back up and I will feel the push to create and strive forward once again.
So make sure you get some time over this festive period to switch off and tune out of the mayhem, and tune into the natural tendency to nurture and care for yourself.

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Strength

Strength - both physical and mental - are required when we are asked to do something greater than we have done before. We build strength in order to handle more. Physical strength is tangible, and increasing it feels achievable because there is a formula, a proven system of exercise and nutrition that science has proven works. Mental and emotional strength is intangible, and because of this, it feels more difficult to find and maintain. But, much as you would with physical exercise, repeated practice of strengthening your mind and processing your emotions can make it easier to step up when needed.
Meditation helps in strengthening the mind, as it provides the brain with time to focus on what it needs to deal with and move on from, rather than keep balancing like a spinning plate. Quiet reflection provides insights that you don't get elsewhere, and putting in a reminder that you are strong, that you are capable of dealing with whatever life throws at you, and that you will figure out any problem that comes your way helps that emotional and mental muscle to develop and grow, just as much as the muscles on our bodies.
Strength can also be found in others - in our tribes, the people who are with us and around us and who make us feel bigger and more powerful because they are there for if we fall. We can only support others if we accept support from others - and we collectively strengthen as a whole.
Today, while you exercise your body, exercise your mind to be bigger, better, bolder.

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Authentic Self

When you show your authentic self, you may trigger some negative emotions in others. These have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. As we hear truth, we cannot help but hold a mirror up to our own version of life that we are living and if it isn't what we know we need or want, then it is easier to try to hurt the other person than accept that hurt within.
If you know what you are doing is good at soul level, then carry on with what you are doing and leave others to deal with the energy they create.

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Toxic People

What do you do when you have to deal with toxic people? Sometimes you can avoid them, but there will be times when you can't and that can be stressful.
My tip for dealing with people who try to ruin your vibe is a simple two stage process: 1 - Set your intention that your energy is not going to be affected by people around you, and this provides a shield against them. 2 - Visualise a mirror in front of you, with the reflective side facing out. As the person directs any hostility or animosity towards you, the 'mirror' repels that energy back to them, protecting you and giving them a taste of what they put out to the world.
Remember also that, however hostile they are, it's not your job to teach them the right way to behave, or to punish them for bad behaviour. The Universe is more than capable of balancing out their behaviour and help them learn the lessons on their own, but it will happen in its own time. If you wait around for your revenge, it then creates a negative vibe for you, and does little to them.

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Lightbulb Moment

The most lightbulb moment of my week was listening and reading the Motivation Manifesto from Brendon Burchard - Live. Love. Matter. :

"Too many have fled this moment for yesterday or tomorrow, dreaming of a time and place they would rather be. To what result? Those who are alive but who are in a sense living in a different time from now are ghosts. They are never fully seen or sensed by their loved ones; THE BOUNTY OF THE UNIVERSE CANNOT FIND THEM TO GIFT THEM; they are dissipated, absent from the roll call of Now."
For me, this is such a powerful reminder of the power of the present. We try to manifest the life we want, and so we have to have a picture of the future, but we shouldn't stay there, because we have to stay in the present for it to be manifested in the present.
I am always telling my clients about keeping present, because that is where the magic happens.

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Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts are sticky, they hold on to your energy 'just in case' - just in case there is ever a time when you may experience that pain or hurt or fear again. Our egos tell us that we need to hold onto those emotions just in case' but really, what purpose does it serve? Does hurting now stop hurting later? Of course not. Dealing with and processing the pain eases it off, softens it so that you don't feel it any more.
So if you find yourself constantly 'ready' for pain, hurt, fear or anger, if you feel like you are primed for that all of the time, take a few moments to take some deep breaths, and on each exhale, think "I know this emotion now, I don't need to hold onto it any more," and picture it being blown out of your body on the breath.
Negative emotions will happen, as human beings we will always feel a mixture, a balance of both postive and negative. But don't hold onto those emotions 'just in case' - you don't need to.

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Brene Brown

I am a big fan of Brené Brown - I love the way she shares her truth and insights through her research and the struggle she has in accepting it in her own life. I relate a lot to her frustration in having no choice but to embrace vulnerability to be strong!! I was watching her Super Soul Sunday talk about BRAVING with my daughter last week, and Brene talks about the marble jar that gets filled with marbles as people do the small things that make us open up to them and trust them. But I was left wondering - what about the people who don't have marble jar friends? If you have a large circle of friends then you can look at them and see which ones have which marbles, but what about those who don't have (or don't feel they have) friends of this sort, or indeed any sort? Loneliness and isolation are such painful things to have to accept in society, but it does exist, and not everyone will start out having people to connect with, and so their path into vulnerability may be to actually start trying to reach out and find them. But that is so hard to ask someone to step into vulnerability - I know it is about stepping into the arena but honestly, not while the lions are still free, surely?!?!
And then it dawned on me (actually it was more like a very insistent voice telling me until I listened!) - that is what I am. Peace For Your Soul is for more than inspirational quotes and musings, and helping people through their dark times - it is also my mission to be the marble jar friend for those who don't have one. I'm not the permanent marble jar friend but I want to be the lighthouse, the beacon that guides the lost back into connection. Because that is how I protect people and protect their spirits - and that is what i am here for. Thank you, Brené Brown, as always.

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JK Rowling

I love this quote from the awesome JK Rowling:

"I don't think that everyone should believe in magic, but I don't think I trust anyone who doesn't."


We all believe our own things, and the challenge isn't to make everyone think like us but to live in harmony with those who don't. No one story is right, and doesn't take precedence.

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One Foot In Front Of The Other

You may find it tiring to keep going some days, when just putting one foot in front of the other feels almost impossible. I think of it like walking through quicksand - you can move but only just. And all the time, as you try to summon up the energy to make the move, your brain is loudly questioning your judgement - is this worth it? What's the point of trying? Why make the effort? Getting yourself to move with all of this resistance both physically and mentally is really difficult and many people wouldn't even try - they would let the mind win, try again tomorrow, I'm not strong enough.
So if you are putting one foot in front of the other, if you are hearing the voices but have faith and hope in your heart that things will get better, if you make the effort when everything tells you not to - you are awesome.

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What Is Your Backup Plan?

Sometimes having an escape route, a backup plan, a plan B, are subtle signs to the Universe that we don't fully trust that it will work in our favour, so we have a way out. Unfortunately this also means that if we won't give 100%, neither will the Universe, and we are more likely to fail than succeed with our dreams.
But, and rather annoyingly, sometimes not having an escape route, a backup plan, a plan B, are subtle signs to the Universe that you are not trusting its support but expecting everything to come to you in blind faith, without any investment from yourself on getting where you want to be. Knowing that you will be okay, in success or failure, is the key to letting the Universe know that you have surrendered to its wisdom and trust (not blindly) that step by step the path will become clear, even if sometimes we have to double back on ourselves.
No-one said aligning with the Universe was easy, but it is oh so beautiful.

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The Power of Journalling

My clients will tell you, I love journalling and specifically, telling THEM to journal! Not only does it placate my passion for cute stationery, but it is also so critical to keeping yourself in a good place emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
The main reason for getting your thoughts, emotions, fears and concerns down on paper, is because it is really, really difficult to get some perspective when it is whirling round inside your head. If you are finding that you are having the same thoughts or worries coming into your mind time and time again during the day, it is your brain's sign that it cannot process it, so get it down onto the journal, and that gives your brain space to then try to make sense of it.
A journal is not a literary piece of art, making perfect sense. It is a messy (I think the trendy phrase is a hot mess) jumble of words and thoughts that need to be acknowledged so that you can move on. sometimes you can get greater clarity by writing things down and seeing that the same issues came up before, and again, and again - you now know this is something that you need to work on. But even if there is no cycle to break, writing down how you felt and what you experienced during the day can be a perfect way of finding things to be grateful for, or warnings of something that needs to be resolved quickly, or signs that you are heading in the right direction (or wrong direction). It may not make sense to anyone else reading it, but it is not the point of a journal to make it accessible to others. This is for you.
You can start small. Each day, write down 3 things that you did, 3 emotions you have felt that day, 3 things you are grateful for. As you get used to the practice, it will naturally expand and become one of your go to resources for helping you make sense of your world.

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Who Are Your Tribe?

We know that we need connection with others, but it is easy to get carried away by connections that are superficial and transitory because, well, they are so easy to deal with. Nobody expecting you to express your truth, everyone happy to play their part and the only pressure you feel is being what everyone else wants you to be so that their world makes more sense. Simple. Simple, but so lonely. We need people in our lives who we can express ourselves to, all of it, light and shadow, and know that they will hold us and cherish that we felt we could trust them with that knowledge. And these may not be people who you have known forever, or family, or those who you see on a daily basis. I have friends who I have known for only a few years who are so so important to me, because they see 'me', not the version of me that shows up elsewhere. When you find those people, they are not your friends - they are your tribe. The people who you can depend on, who know you warts and all and love you because of them not in spite of them. You get so much strength from finding your tribe and connecting on that level. So who have you got?

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Social Media Numbness

Scrolling through social media, I see the same problem over and over again – people struggling with relationships, money, time, family, work – something in their life is draining away their enthusiasm, their drive, the energy they ned to get out of bed in the morning. But instead of trying to fix the problem, instead of trying to get happy, and make the changes necessary, they numb – with food, alcohol, TV and for that moment they do feel better – until they realise that the problem is still there the next day.
This is no way to live! You should be waking up in the morning looking at the day as a world of opportunities, not something that you need to grit your teeth to get through. Maybe being THAT bright first thing feels impossible at the moment – okay. Then how about just being able to go to sleep feeling a sense of peace, a sense of control that for all the crap you have to go through in your life, you can cope, you are strong enough, and it will get better?
Why would you not want that? Why does a bottle of prosecco currently look a better option in sorting your life out? What wisdom does chocolate cake give you about your situation and how to resolve it? That box set you’ve just binge-watched – did any of the characters tell you how to work out how to deal with your life? Are any of these going to make you feel better about yourself in the long run? Or – and more likely – will you use them to beat yourself up even more about how you can’t cope?
I’m here to tell you – YES YOU CAN. I’m not going to lie, you have to be ready to be vulnerable, and honest with yourself. But being able to go there will make you feel stronger than you ever thought possible. You will feel invincible. And that effect won’t wear off with the alcohol or the sugar, but it will be there when you wake up, as you go through your day, as you take control back of your life, and as you fall asleep at night. YOU have the ability to get through this.
The Energy Management & Protection workshop was created because helping you get control of your energy and therefore your life is my purpose, it is what I focus on every single day. If I can help you understand the way to get your power back and take control of your life, it is my mission to be there for you through that journey. This is a chance to find your voice, find your power but you have to take the first step. And it’s really not that brave – a day of your time to understand the concepts behind how energy works, practical exercises to show you in your own life how to see what is draining you, and a couple of techniques to enable you to move forward in your own power. A day.
So before you numb, before you try to ignore that nagging tension in the pit of your stomach, that sense of helplessness over where your life is right now – come along and see if you have to keep living that way.

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Flip A Coin

Have you been struggling with a difficult situation, or a decision that you know you've got to make, but just feel that there is no 'right' answer? If there are only two sides flip a coin - before you see what it is, think - what do you want it to be? in that moment where it is taken out of our hands, it releases your intuition to give you your answer. If there are many choices, write them all down at the top of a paper each, and then underneath each, write what this choice would mean for you and how it makes you feel. Again, it is less about what you write and more about how you feel going through that process - do you feel relief Do you feel a very resolute 'No' coming up?
Try to ignore any feelings of fear, or anxiety - these are a self defence mechanism for keeping yourself from harm, a link back to our 'fight or flight' response. As you consider each as if you have made the decision, do you feel a lightness around one in particular? If you do (and you will) then that is the one to focus on. Any challenges that you bring up, any blocks can now be focussed on clearing, rather than continue to stay undecided with too many options.

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World Suicide Prevention Day September 10th

It is so easy to sit in the darkness and feel alone because you can't see anyone but in reality you are surrounded.
Never be ashamed of admitting that you need support, love or help. It is why we exist, to connect and support each other.
The more we talk about it, the less scary it will become; the more it will become clear that we are not alone.
You are Safe, You are Loved and You are Protected xxx

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Connections

There are so many connections that any one of us have, and it can be tiring to keep all of them going at the same time, so we let some rest while we nurture others. Sometimes we realise that we are missing a connection that we have ignored for some time and go back to it with renewed focus and meaning - but sometimes we realise we haven't really missed it at all. Knowing when to disconnect from a relationship that no longer serves you is as important as knowing how to do so.

If you struggle to know if you should disconnect, or even how to, then working with me may be the solution. Contact me for more details.

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Find Your Flow

It always amazes me, how life goes on a go-slow every now and then, where every activity is delayed, blocked or stopped completely. Then you remember that it wasn't something that was aligned with what makes you happy and then boom! All of a sudden life is on warp speed again, going straight towards happy!

If you find your life feels stuck or blocked, take a look at what you are focussing on or doing at that time - if it doesn't get you closer to where you want to be, then the chances are you are being halted for that very reason.

Find your flow.

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