Group Energy

Have you noticed how being in a room full of people has an effect on you? For example, the buzz that you get from being at a concert where everyone is waiting to have a good time? Or a football match, when your team have just scored a goal? Or when the opponents score?

Being in large groups can affect our energy and leave us feeling drained and washed out if we don't protect our energy and keep it separate to the 'group'. Whether the group is congregated for good or bad reasons, it is important that you know what is your stuff and what is the stuff of others.

Another example - if you commute. In London (UK), the commute to work can be one of the most depressing parts of your day and not always because you are affected by the journey. Sometimes, being in close proximity to lots of people who are not happy (to put it mildly) can bring your energy and mood down as well and you get into work already exhausted and ready for the day to be over.

If you recognise any of these situations or you recognise your response to them isn't really working for you, then let me help you understand your own energy, how you build it up, how you are using it and most importantly, how to keep it for yourself and unaffected by the thoughts, emotions and energy of others.

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Embrace Your Bigness

Hi everyone! In the past couple of weeks I've done quite a few sessions and I have seen a common theme, that I wanted to share with you - it's about embracing your bigness. Now I don't mean physical size (pretty much because any size is perfect, nothing more to say). But your spiritual and energetic bigness. The power and strength you get from living more the way you want to and not offering any apologies for that. So many of us are being shown that by living with purpose and direction, we attract even more of it, and our lights are shining brighter than ever. That's why the attacks happen, that's why people start to try to get you back in your box, to quieten you down - because they see scarcity instead of abundance. They see that if you have more then they (obviously) have to have less. That is so untrue. The more of us who show that there is enough for everyone, the more we all grow!
People don't criticise you for being more - they criticise you for showing that they are less, by highlighting that it is possible for anyone to grow, if they want to. Excuses don't work if you have a living breathing example of greatness that shows what you are missing.
But this isn't permission to brag about our greatness, to rub anyone's noses in it. It is time to not only grow big but to also understand how you did it - because there will be a growing number of brave people, who finally ask you how you got where you are, how can you live your life so joyfully, and authentically, and they will want to know the secret. And remember, we all rise, or no-one rises - there are no winners or losers. So be aware of how amazing your life is, of how you think, feel and act every day to make that happen - so that you can guide others towards their bigness one day.

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The Spirit Within The Physical

Our spiritual energy depends on our physical bodies to carry it around - while we are in human form, we have no choice but to care for the physical body as much as our energetic or spiritual one. It may feel indulgent to have a lie in, treat yourself to a massage or feed yourself nourishing food, but it is actually just what we are supposed to do. If we keep our body nourished, it is easier for us to keep our souls nourished. Why? Because showing the intent that you plan on taking care of yourself in the physical form sets the intention to the Universe that you will do the same for your energetic body, and you will find that your energy is less likely to 'leak' into connections that are not for your benefit.

So next time you feel that your body needs to rest or some TLC, embrace it fully - you will be taking care of both body and mind.

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Anxiety

Social anxiety is crippling. When I was younger, I suffered emotional bullying - the type which doesn't feel like bullying to those doing it, as they didn't touch me (much) and they didn't physically harm me (much). Instead, they would respond to everything I did with disdain, as if I was getting it wrong. And I'm talking about smiling at someone, saying hello, asking how the weekend was - every time I opened my mouth to interact with others, I was told, quite clearly, that I had got it wrong. Whatever the social rule book was, I didn't know it and couldn't get access to it. Instead, I had a handful of people who allowed me to just be myself, whatever that was - that embraced the slightly crazy from me, and ignored it when I got things wrong. They got me through school and I love them for it. But even their friendship couldn't stop me from feeling that I was never going to be socially accepted.

It has taken me many years and a lot of self awareness and development to recognise that such a rule book doesn't exist. but even when you say that logically, rationally, and you accept it to be true, that emotional impact carries on and feels impossible to shift.

My approach to helping people find peace is based on my spiritual journey and that has helped me learn to deal with my anxiety that comes back from time to time. But I help anyone who feels that their approach to dealing with their life is not working and they do not have to believe in anything other than their life should feel easier than it does.

Anxiety can be reduced and I firmly believe that the first step to that is feeling that you are not alone.

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We Are Always In The Grief Process ...

Grief is kicked off any time our lives are changed in a way that was unexpected. We suddenly become aware that our life is changed and cannot go back to how it was - maybe before you had children, after a relationship breakup, even a favourite manager leaving at work - all of these mean we are forced into accepting a new reality. We therefore have the grieving process, as we are sad for what has been lost, maybe shocked, maybe angry that the change has happened and you are out of control - and finally some acceptance that life is different but can still be good.

Add to this grief over a loved one, and it is easy to see why that feeling is so overwhelming. We are already coping with a world that keeps changing on us and then all of a sudden there is another change - and it cannot be undone.

So give yourself a break if you are trying to come to terms with the loss of a loved one and finding it sometimes just too much. The process takes however long is needed, and the more you try to suppress it and ignore it the longer it takes to get released (and it WILL get released - it doesn't go away it just festers). Allow it out during your quiet moments and take as many of them as you need.

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Being in the Eye of the Storm

Some days you can feel that the world around you is spinning, out of control and it looks too much to deal with. You don't recognise anything in the whirl, just emotions and feelings and thoughts that you don't recognise as being anything to do with you. In today's world where everyone is fighting to be heard and to be right, you can feel like you are in the eye of a huge emotional storm, where nothing is happening to you directly but you can see the chaos around and it frightens you.
You have two options. You can either join the stat still, wait for the storm to pick you up as it moves and leave yourself at the whim of whatever energy has picked you up ready to spit you out somewhere else. Or you can move with the storm to stay in the eye, to stay in the quiet, aware of but not a part of the chaos, and wait it out for the storm to die down (and it WILL die down).
You don't have to become part of the chaos. Be the eye of the storm, hold yourself strong by focusing on your calmness and peace.

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Protecting Your Own Energy Is A Two Step Process -

First, you find ways that you absorb energy. That could be from others, but it is better to find activities that nourish your soul without relying on others. If we rely on others for our energy totally, we have in effect given control of our energy to others, because if they don't give us any, we go without. This doesn't mean that you can't turn to friends for support during times where you need to - in fact, you are more likely to get more from them if you are not constantly taking it from them. Find those people who light you up, who make you feel bigger and better. When you interact with others you should BOTH feel better for it - if not the balance is wrong.
You can also instead find things that light you up - it might be a walk in woodland, dancing, painting, running - anything that you feel good after you have done it, and you can stay in the moment while you are doing it - that is good energy and will replenish and nourish you.

Second step is to protect the energy that you now have lovingly generated. This doesn't mean pulling away from others, but establish some boundaries of how and when you give that energy away, to make sure that you don't give away too much and you don't leave enough for yourself. As well as those boundaries keeping your energy in, they also keep negative energy out - for example, if someone is trying to make you feel guilty, or angry, or give you pain, then establishing an energetic barrier can really help in making sure that you don't absorb that and let it affect you. It also has the added effect of reflecting right back onto themselves, making them experience whatever their intention was for you. You can imagine a mirror that sits in front of you, and you can activate the mirror to reflect back any energy that feels harmful to you. Eventually, they realise the words or emotions are not hitting their target, and also the effect of those because they experience instead.

You don't have to be particularly spiritual to know that you need to protect yourself from others, from toxic relationships or connections that make you feel crummy.

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What Proof Do We Need?

I was reading an article recently about how human beings will tell you that they desperately want the world to change, to be better - but they are hugely reluctant to make a change to their circumstances in order to achieve it. Now I think this is interesting. I think most people now recycle, think about the waste (if not, why not?!) and consider themselves to be making small changes for the greater good. But have we reached the edge of what we are prepared to change for the benefit of humanity? If the right thing for humanity was for us all to give up cars, or give up meat - would you do it? If you're like me, you immediately thought of all of the things that you liked doing when you have your car, or when you eat meat, and it just felt like too high a price. Yet, if we were shown concrete evidence that we will not survive without doing this - I'd hand my keys over straight away.

Humans always want proof before they change - proof that the change was necessary and had the desired outcome. But that's not the way life works. Regardless of spiritual or nonspiritual beliefs, we have to predict or forecast a future that we cannot guarantee, and so we are asked to make the changes in good faith.

What changes do you know you need to make, but it just feels too hard? Is it hard because you actually like where you are right now? Is it hard because of how drastically different your life would be? Or is it hard because you don't want to put yourself through something that might not make you feel any better?

My belief is that if you are feeling compelled to make a change, it is because it IS of benefit to you and to others. That feeling that you can't quite ignore, is telling you that the change is going to make your life better, if you would just trust that this is so. I'm not saying that the change won't be difficult, or hard, or painful - it may very well be. But it will get you to such a better place, I promise xxxx

Watching the news or reading social media can be a very negative experience, as so much hostility, tension and aggravation seems to be so loud and growing louder. But I am a firm believer that we cannot fight what we cannot see, and the only way to fight hatred, fear, anger, and ignorance is with love. By treating those around you with love, you make your own impact - that part of the world is no longer negative but brilliantly bright. If we all do this, if we all try to just focus on loving those we come into contact with, to show tenderness and compassion to all that we interact with, I truly believe that we can push these negative images out of humanity once and for all. Even if it doesn't feel like it, LOVE IS WINNING.

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Signposts

There are signposts everywhere in your life, guiding you to what you should do - and what you shouldn't. Focus on learning how to recognise the difference and you will find yourself drawn more towards opportunities than setbacks.

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Lose Your Baggage

You can't move forward with baggage weighing you down - it impacts everything that you do or want to do. We carry it with us - all of the past pain, regret, anger, frustration, hurt - because we think that we need it, that we need to remember it so that it doesn't happen again. But the truth is, you can only learn from an experience when you have fully healed from it - and that includes being able to let it go.

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Dealing With Negative Energy

There is a difference between ignoring negative things that are happening around you, and choosing to not them affect you. Pretending it doesn't exist allows it to continue to influence you (it takes effort to ignore something).

Our world will always have a combination of both, but if we choose wisely, we can increase the positivity that surrounds us and drown out the negative. Without focus, it will shrink in size and power, until even though it still exists, it no longer has any control or power or influence.

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Belief Systems

A belief system is a human construct that helps you make sense of the world that you live in. None are right or wrong - they are just the one you need to feel safe, understood and calm.
You can't force someone to believe the same things as you, all you can do is express your beliefs through your actions and see if it resonates.

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What do you need to know right now?

What do you need to know right now? What would make you breathe easier, smile more and sleep better?
Now how much control do you have over getting that information, that reassurance, that confirmation? If you are reliant on someone else, then your energy is currently theirs, not yours. And until you call your energy back and focus on knowing that the Universe will give you everything you seek at just the right time, you will feel suspended, frozen in time and space, unable to move or feel anything new.

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Get Off Your Phone!

That's what we are told now, isn't it? Put the phone down, stop looking at screens, have a digital detox and get back in your head. This is all really good advice, and you absolutely should have time in your day where the connection is not based on your wifi signal.

But that isn't enough. We have normally reached for our devices because life has got hard in some way and we can escape via the app or the feed or the kittens and puppies. Even if we put the phones down, if we don't deal with what is hard, then you may as well have the phone in your hand 24/7.

One of the main reasons for life feeling hard is that your energy is being given away carelessly, without thought and without intention, and you are staying connected to people and situations that are draining you even when you are not around them.

So if you are going to get off your phones, don't do so and leave these connections alive and well - use the time to clean your energy, maintain good energetic connections and destroy those that are no longer serving you. If you look after your own energy levels, then you won't be so worried about the battery life on the device that you are currently dependent on.

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Do You Pay Your Dues??

Do you pay your dues??

An advert recently appeared on the PayPal site, which talks about paying friends your share of the cinema trip, the meal, the night taxi home - in order to save face with your friends. Although the advert is a bit too guilt ridden for my liking, the ethos behind it has some truth.

We don't tend to think of money as energy, but that is exactly what it is - it is the energetic exchange that we use on Earth, to show that one person's actions have value to us. We want to buy a product, we hand over money and we expect the item back in return. It is the easiest energetic transaction to understand if thinking about your energy and what you do with it is still new to you.

This is why debt feels so heavy. We know that there is energy that we must give back, and in some cases the amount is so large that we cannot physically manifest that amount of energy to cover it. Think of it this way. If you had a debt of £1000, but you had £20,000 in the bank, you wouldn't be worried about paying it back at all, because you can do it in a instant, and not really miss it. Then consider the time when you owe £1000, but you only have £100 - you start feeling dragged down by the obligation. Even if you will have access to the money next payday, you still have to get there - and that time in between can drag so badly.

This is why we should try to minimise debt in our lives, because it leaves an energetic connection that then HAS to stay active until we have repaid. You know that hiding the credit card bill won't make it go away - and every second of the day you know exactly where that bill is, which drawer, and the number on it. You are tied whether you want to be or not.

We can't always have zero debt, and it would be wrong to think that is the only way to be. Instead, we have to mindful of how many different energetic links we are creating, so that we don't seep our energy away.

So if you do owe your friend money from a meal, it is about understanding that not paying that back is going to energetically impact you until you do - and it is a two way thing, they won't feel great until it is paid also. This is exactly why friendships and relationships find it tough to deal with financial arrangements impacting them - it changes the way the energy is supposed to work.

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Winners and Losers ..

It is hard to acknowledge but sometimes it is not the fact of winning that drives us, but that someone else will lose.

Revenge or payback is a strong emotion. It encompasses hurt and frustration, combined with a destructive, angry creativity, full of ideas on ways to make the 'guilty party' pay.

But who really suffers when we go after revenge? Usually the object of our anger is ignorant of the energy we are giving them. We drain ourselves emotionally and physical. So how much does revenge drive your actions? And what do you gain from it?

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I Wish You Could See ...

I wish you could see what I can see,
The big unstoppable soul that I see desperate to burst out of the small human form that we spend so long analysing, criticising, trying to change instead of just loving it.

I wish you could see what I can see,
a fierceness of spirit, that refuses to let you play small, be small, stay small

I wish you could see what I can see,
A loving heart that only wants to love and heal and connect with other hearts, to allow our human forms to be as connected as our souls are

I wish you could see what I can see,
infinite potential, infinite energy, infinite possibilities, infinity in each of us.

I wish you could see what I can see,
because if you could, you would see that there is no reason to fear growing bigger, being more of you, that there is nothing scary in allowing the world to see you for who you really are, that the world is cheering you on to be bigger, better, brighter, bolder, brilliant.

I wish you could see what I can see

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Mirror Exercise To Protect Your Energy From Negative People

I get asked a lot about ways of protecting your energy from negative or hostile people and obviously, the absolutely best way is to avoid those people altogether.  However, that's not always possible - and could make it very difficult for you to go about your daily life anyway.

So I wanted to share with you an exercise I give my clients to use, as the best way I know of to protect your energy quickly.

Picture that you are holding a mirror in front of you - a full-length, ornate mirror.  You are holding onto the back of it, so all you can see is the back of the mirror, so you can't see (and therefore feel) the negative energy coming your way.  This also means that the reflective side of the mirror is facing outwards, at the person throwing their negative vibes your way.

When people have negative energy themselves, in order to relieve their situation they try to 'throw' that energy away to other people - and if you accept it, then they feel better while you feel worse.  By using the mirror, they feel the energy come back at them, and can feel that it isn't very nice at all to have that coming at you.  You may find that they look confused, or start getting angry - as you can't see through the back of the mirror, you no longer respond to the energy and so they can see they are not having any impact.  As it is no longer comfortable for them, they move away from you and stop try (eventually).

 

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We Are Perfectly Different

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A MASS OF CONTRADICTIONS - IT IS WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE. IT MAKES US EMPATHETIC TO THE PEOPLE AROUND US. IT KEEPS LIFE INTERESTING, EXCITING, TO DISCOVER NEW THINGS ABOUT OURSELVES AND OTHERS. TWO OPPOSING PERSPECTIVES GIVES US THE CHANCE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHO WE ARE AND IN TURN HOW WE UNDERSTAND THE REST OF HUMANITY.

DIFFERENCE IS NOT A PROBLEM BUT A GIFT.

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Do I Need A Plan B?

Sometimes having an escape route, a backup plan, a plan B, are subtle signs to the Universe that we don't fully trust that it will work in our favour, so we have a way out. Unfortunately this also means that if we won't give 100%, neither will the Universe, and we are more likely to fail than succeed with our dreams.
But, and rather annoyingly, sometimes not having an escape route, a backup plan, a plan B, are subtle signs to the Universe that you are not trusting its support but expecting everything to come to you in blind faith, without any investment from yourself on getting where you want to be. Knowing that you will be okay, in success or failure, is the key to letting the Universe know that you have surrendered to its wisdom and trust (not blindly) that step by step the path will become clear, even if sometimes we have to double back on ourselves.
No-one said aligning with the Universe was easy, but it is oh so beautiful.

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