Reclaiming Feminine and Masculine Balance

Regardless of gender, you have masculine and feminine energy and together they create the energy that you put out into the world. As you may expect, the masculine energy is for survival, assessing threats and seeking strategies to live and survive. It is the left brain energy, that of logic, rational thought and methodical movement - each action or thought has to be finished before another one can take over. It is what keeps us alive, and so is incredibly important. however, you can possibly see that if it is allowed to take over, it can also be quite isolating because by definition it is keeping it ‘you’ away from ‘them’ who may seem to harm you. Everything become competitive and can be hostile or aggressive if left unchecked.

Feminine energy is softer, and is connected to the right side brain, that of creativity, emotional connectivity and holistic thinking. Feminine does not look at thing sequentially - it takes the situation and looks at everything that might affect it at the same time. The feminine energy is sometimes why there is the idea that women are better at multitasking - they are not really, but the feminine energy is good at understanding that things are not lineal and straightforward, but complex and delicate. The feminine energy looks to seek connection with others, understanding that you are stronger together than apart (although still powerful as individuals). Again though, left unchecked and the feminine energy can make you feel lost, as you struggle to decide what the best options are for you. Whereas the masculine energy will make decisions quickly and urgently, the feminine wants to take in so many perspectives that it can get stuck in its own analysis paralysis.

A balance of the two is required. If you have feminine and masculine energy working together, you have the ability to see threats, see how to operate in the world and think rationally, but you will also understand how to take everything and everyone into account, displaying emotional intelligence and compassion towards situations. You may tough decisions, but you are tactful and compassionate in communicating that out to others.

If you look at how you approach life at the moment, which side is in charge? Do you feel that the masculine ‘hard’ energy is in control, or do you feel the feminine softness and sensitivity in charge? The aim is not to get rid of either side but to allow each side to work at its best, allowing you to better manage life in the physical world.

For practice, take a look at the Reclaiming Your Feminine Energy meditation, which helps you access both sides and experience the two halves of who you are.

Clearing People Connections

You know that some people are just not good for you to be around, but it can be difficult to know how to disconnect yourself from them, both in physically keeping space from them and energetically ‘cutting the cord’. What does cutting the cord mean? Every time you interact with someone and build a relationship with them of any sort, you create an energetic link to them. This is true no matter how much or little you deal with them - even when you go into a shop to buy a pint of milk, you will create an energetic link to the person who serves you. These links are soul to soul and you are recognisable to each other on that level. However, once the transaction is over and you get your change back, you subconsciously cut the cord because it is no longer required. However, imagine if the transaction didn’t go well. Maybe the assistant tried to overcharge you, maybe they were rude to you in some way - now when you leave the store, the cord is still there and you yank it every now and then because emotionally they upset you and you haven’t let that go.

If this type of connection can be created with the local supermarket cashier, just imagine the connections you have that are far more meaningful! And this is the problem - you can build up literally hundreds of connections with people over a short space of time, and depending on the emotion and energy that runs along that line or cord, depends on whether it is good or bad for you.

If a connection is no longer good for you, or you feel that there is little left to keep connected for, then you are able to cut the cords and release them. Please bear in mind that in some cases, you can do this with people who you will reconnect with - sometimes the energetic link can get disrupted and communication becomes difficult and so the easiest way of resolving the issue is to ‘cut the cord’ and allow the connection to start again afresh.

It sounds a very dramatic process - cutting the cords - but essentially, it is a practice that it based around your intent and nothing else. If you intend to break the connection, then it will be broken. However, showing that you intend to break it can be really difficult - if it is a connection that has pain, grief or regret attached to it, the then it can be tough to let it go without some sort of resolution or discussion. Therefore some form of ritual or a practice of visualisation can help you feel that the matter is resolved and therefore can be released.

My top way of cutting cords is a three stage process.

1 - Resolve the relationship - you can either write a letter, or picture a conversation with the person where you say what you want to say to them, warts and all. This letter will never get sent to them, but it is showing your mind and soul that you are ready to let go. Put down everything that you would like to say to them, what you would like them to know, and keep going until you feel empty, neutral, as if there are no more words. At this point, the energy that you have connected with that relationship is now in the letter, not in you.

2 - Visualise your disconnection - picture yourself in a calm, serene place, near whichever element feels most appropriate. You see strands of light coming off you, snaking out to shaded images of other people, with light pulsing down each one, in both directions. Begin to focus in on the silhouette of the person that you want to disconnect from, building up a solid clear image of them, still showing the strand of light. Put your hand to your heart chakra, where the line of light starts from, grip the light tightly, and with a final word of love, pull the light from your chest, and you will see it disconnect and the light dim. As the light fades, the image of that person also fades and disappears, and you send it with love.

3 - Clear and clean - take your letter and burn it, making sure that all traces of the words written are burnt. Once the ashes are cooled, throw them away (in a garden is best, as the energy returns to the earth. Take a shower, and picture the water carrying a blue light with it. As the water cleans your physical body, the blue light cleanses your aura and energetic body, and all traces wash away.

If the connection re-establishes, it will not carry any of the old energy and as such, you can begin anew with a connection that provides for you as much as it takes.

Cleaning Your Space

Housework never sounds very much fun, but energetically it is one of the most important things you can do. Whie you appreciate your body’s energy and its capacity to hold onto old thoughts or emotions that are no longer helpful, you also have to ensure that your physical space around you is also clean of any negative energy that could affect your moods. Our place of residence is our home, and our conenction back to the earth’s energy. If you do any form of spiritual work, you will know that energy builds up in certain locations - if you always meditate in the same place, for example, the energy of that space will be altered. You will also be aware that once you are in that space it is easier and easier to relax and meditate, because your body and soul are now primed for doing that activity and making that connection in that space.

The same is true of your home. When you enter your home and move around in it, you will imprint your emotions onto the energy of the house. Have you ever walked into a room where a couple have been fighting? Even though the argument is long over, you can still feel it in the air. Entering old buildings has a similar effect - the walls hold the energy of everyone who has ever walked through it, and that is why for some people old houses or buildings feel so strange - they are picking up on just how many people have walked in the same place they are standing now!

While you cannot get rid of all of the energy imprinted into a building, it is possible to clean it to the point where it doesn’t hold onto negative energy that you may take back on board. It is a good habit to get into - alongside the hoovering or cleaning the windows, get used to cleansing the energy as well. It is simple and - as you will keep hearing me say - it is all about the intention of your actions rather than a great ritual, although a ritual can be helpful to set the intention (hopefully that makes sense).

1 - Clean house - make sure you do your housekeeping first - as you are cleaning and dusting and polishing, the energy is being agitated - just like the dirt - into the air, so you must do the house work first to make sure the surfaces do not hold onto any of the ‘dirty’ energy. If possible (and not too cold) have a window open, preferably the one furthest away from your front door. When you cleanse the energy, you will be effectively sweeping the energy from the front door, all the way through the house and up to the uppermost part of your house, letting it all out of the window. Whilst doing the housework, having the window open starts this process.

2 - Smudge - there are several things that you can use to clean the energy of a house. The most popular is white sage, which you can buy as a stick of leaves wrapped tightly together. You burn the leaves, but you want the embers to smoke rather than for there to be flames. As the smoke builds up, wave the stick around the room closest to the front door, starting from the floor up. Visualise the smoke getting into every crevice of the room, cleaning it all away. The white sage is hugely effectively, but can be a little messy as you have to be very careful of ash falling from it (I hold an abalone shell below the stick as I go around, to catch the members as they fall - this is VERY important!). Another option is palo santo, a wood that you burn in the same way as the white sage, following the same process, floor to ceiling, corner to corner. as you finish each room, you are guiding the smoke out and up to the open window and so you go through the rest of your house until you enter the final room with the window open. Once completed, leave the window open for at least an hour afterwards to make sure it is all gone.

If you don’t like the idea of burning anything, there is now an amazing range of room aura sprays that you can get, which have been created to cleanse the energy and usually leave a light scent behind. There are a range of essential oils and crystals used to make each one, and so you can choose the one that you like the most - it is usually the one you need.

Once the house is smudged, it is a good idea to set the intention of keeping it clean. for a couple of moments, stand close eyed near your front door, and picture only letting good energy back into the house. You may visualise yourself happy and joyful entering the house, or your loved ones walking through smiling - whatever image helps you establish the intention to create a positive and high vibe place that is your home.


Picture a hot air balloon. Ready to fly into a sunset sky, the balloon is full of air, pushing away from its guide ropes, and eager to rise into the dusk sky. Underneath the balloon is the basket, with sandbags attached that are helping to keep the balloon from flying up never to return to earth again, and the anchor is firmly fixed into the ground, sturdy and unmoveable, safe in the knowledge that the balloon is not going anywhere until it is safe to do so.

In this image, which part do you resonate most with? As you live on the physical plane, you interact with the four elements - fire, earth, air and water - and each can affect us in a different way. Fire makes you want to act, like the hot flames firing up underneath the balloon, just wanting to get going. Air controls your thoughts, it affects how much you allow your thoughts to take you away from your body and into your mind. Air unrestrained will keep going up and and up and is so light, it never wants to come back to earth. remember it is gravity that keeps our atmosphere - our air - coupled to the earth, even though it does not want to stay in place. Water is like the sand bags, emotional weight and baggage that holds you down and can affect how smoothly you fly if they are unbalanced. If they are too heavy, you won’t fly at all. Lastly the earth holds us down, it keeps us safe and grounded, so that you always have a firm grip and are anchored to the earth and its energy that you need as you live as a human being.

Each element and its affects are extremely important but you can see how they have to also be carefully balanced. And the one that you are most likely to struggle with it earth, and the sense of being grounded.

Being human is hard and heavy. You face challenges and struggles, emotional imbalance and heartbreak, in the quest for learning the lessons you came back to learn, with the aim that one day, you will not have to come back at all. Your soul is light and want to return to the spiritual plane, and not be weighed down but your physical body, but you can’t let that happen, as you will not learn what you need to. So you will find that occasionally you will need to think of grounding and resetting your connection to the earth, to remind yourself of your humanity.

How will you know if you are ungrounded? Well, mainly because you will feel literally untethered - energetically and emotionally all over the place, emotionally stressed, trapped in your head and in your thoughts. You may feel unsure of your next move, disconnected from those around you and invisible to others. In response, you may find that you want to escape, as you finding life just too hard and too difficult.

The main thing to do is to get back into your body as soon as possible. If you picture the hot air balloon, you want to pitch your anchor again and hold down the balloon so that you feel connected , safe and secure once again. There are a few options you can choose to help.

1 - Do gardening - if the weather allows, pottering about in the garden is a great way of literally connecting with the earth once again. Tending to the plants, removing weeds, clearing space are all good ways to remind your body what being grounded feels like, and can be very therapeutic

2 - Cook and eat - again, you need to do something that you experience in your body not your ind, and so cooking a meal is a great way to ground. Because it also combines your senses together, and gets you to focus on the experience of creating and then eating the food, it reminds you how wonderful your body and the human experience can be.

3 - Exercise and physical activity - doing some exercise is another way of getting back in your body and before you ask, yes, sex counts as exercise here. Doing something that requires our physical body to exert effort forces us back down into it, and there is the chemical rush of endorphins when you are finished.

4 - Meditation - sometimes the silence of meditation can help you get back into your body quickly and can take only a few minutes - handy if you are at work and don’t have that much time to reset yourself. A really useful meditation (soon to be recorded here for you) is the 5 Senses meditation. During the course of the meditation, you involve all 5 sense individually which connects you back to your physical body very quickly. You work your way through the sense, concentrating on what you can see, hear, touch, taste and smell and it is wonderful way of being extremely calm and present.

When you feel the need to ground, you are really wanting to reconnect with the present. Your minds, thoughts and emotions tend to focus on what has happened or what is going to happen, yet the place where you hold the most power is in the present, where you just exist and have faith that the answers will show themselves in that moment.